seasons change but people don't
by ikuzonos
Summary: Kaede was something else entirely, and he liked that. (NDRV3, Major Character Death, Headcanon Heavy, Unrequited Saihara/Kaede, Kaede/Maki)


Their friendship was important to him.

Kaede's integrity and determination to solve the trials was refreshing, and despite the times that she lied, he still found himself able to place his trust in her. She wanted to get the right verdict no matter the cost, and her desperation to uncover the truth behind each killing was unlike any drive that Saihara had himself.

Kaede was something else entirely, and he liked that.

Perhaps he liked it _too much._

He tried to ignore it, when his stomach did backflips in front of her. He tried to ignore it, when his heartbeat sped up as she walked by. He tried to ignore it, when he went red after she said she believed in him.

But he couldn't deny his heart forever. Saihara knew deep down that he had fallen in love with Kaede Akamatsu, with a girl like sunshine, and he was nothing but bitter, permanent winter.

Kaede never seemed to notice. If she did, she was kind enough to stay silent about it. Saihara hated himself for such a foolish crush, but he always held back. If he ever let it slip, then he and Kaede would no longer be able to stay friends. Not without awkward silences and forced conversation, not without a wall of tension forming.

Besides, Kaede was happy with Maki. If he disrupted that, then he would lose her forever.

That was something he couldn't bear to do.

* * *

It started with a bang and a scream.

Things were okay, things were safe. Sure, Angie had just murdered Tenko. And _sure_ , Tsumugi and Gonta were recently killed by Himiko. _And sure,_ Ryouma had been murdered by Korekiyo all the way back at the beginning.

But the nine of them that remained were safe, they were fearless, they were _going to live_ -

And they found Maki Harukawa at the bottom of the staircase.

Kaede screamed.

"Maki! MAKI!"

She rushed forwards, and grabbed the raven haired girl, and pulled her into her arms, "Maki, please! Please answer me!"

For one moment, Maki's scarlet eyes flashed open, the same colour as the blood that was leaving her body, "...Kaede?"

"I'm here, you're going to be okay!" Kaede cried, "Just hold on, I'm sure we can bandage you up-"

Maki whispered, "Too late... Too late..."

Kaede's shouts grew louder, "No! Maki, don't leave me! Maki, Maki, please! MAKI!"

Maki's eyes fluttered shut, but a gentle smile had formed on her face.

"MAKI!" Kaede screamed, tears rolling down her face, "MAKI, COME BACK!"

Saihara said, "Akamatsu-san, she's-"

"No!" Kaede yelled, "Help me! She's just unconscious, you have to _help me!_ "

Saihara strode forwards, and dropped to his knees. He tried for Maki's pulse multiple times, but got no response. She'd long since stopped breathing, and heat was leaving her body.

They stayed there, Kaede crying and Saihara sitting next to her in silence, until the others came around the corner, and found the pair.

* * *

He'd never seen her so angry before.

But the way that Kaede pointed at Kirumi Toujou was a side of her that Saihara had never seen. Vibrant rage danced in her eyes, while her tearstained and heartbroken face screamed.

When the maid had been brutally executed in front of the seven remaining, Kaede couldn't even bring herself to speak. She looked hollow, like her soul had finally left her body.

He extended his hand to her, as a gesture of comfort, and she flew into his arms, holding onto him as silent tears rolled down her face.

* * *

He sat with her in her room that night. Neither of them slept a wink, but Kaede never left his side. She was too distraught to do anything besides cry, and Saihara knew no words that could comfort her.

Even in the days after Maki's death, she never quite returned to normal. Her reactions were dull, and her voice seemed stilted.

Somehow, that was even more heartbreaking than her lost composure during the trial.

* * *

He stood in the darkness, blood covering his hands. Ouma lay at his feet, still. The knife was still buried deep in his chest, but the leader was dead, dead without doubt.

Saihara had spent his life figuring out murders, and now he was the culprit behind one. He could cover it up. He could frame someone, and get away with it entirely. He could return to his old life.

But he could never do that.

That would be against everything that he stood for.

* * *

Kaede's expression of pure and utter betrayal as she pointed at him, and said his name was the worst thing he'd ever experienced. Tears crept into her voice as she spoke, as she pinned him down.

He couldn't remain stoic, and he couldn't lie to her any longer.

Tears rolled down his face as he spoke, guilt flying off his heavy shoulders.

"Yes... I am indeed the blackened behind Ouma-san's murder. I'm sorry, Akamatsu-san. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this."

* * *

As he was dragged away towards a torturous death, he looked back at Kaede one last time. She had still trusted him once, they used to be _friends_ , and he had ruined it all with one simple slip.

She reached out an arm as snot dripped out of her nose, mixing with her salty tears. He couldn't figure out why, but he smiled as she did so, as his eyes watered uncontrollably. Kaede became a blur in his vision, but her bright smile flashed into his mind one last time before he died.

Saihara had fallen in love with a girl like sunshine, and he had given himself bitter, permanent winter.


End file.
